Arby’s and Buffalo Wild Wings are in the midst of a merger, but which other fast food giants need to team up and attempt world domination?
When companies merge together, it always presents an opportunity for cross brand promotion. When fast food brands crossover, it opens up a world of possibilities that we never thought possible but can’t stop obsessing over.
Case in point: Arby’s — proving they indeed want the meats — is buying Buffalo Wild Wings. The immediate thought is will we be able to buy wings at Arby’s now? It’s unlikely that we will, but that got our minds working towards what other fast food crossovers we’d want to see.
Subway (or Quiznos) and Chipotle
What a simpler time in America. The most scandalous thing going on in the country was Subway trying to make its bones by dogging McDonald’s in a not so subtle way. Really, Subway was ahead of its time. Today we see these sorts of shots across the bow between brands on social media all the time. Just the other day Wendy’s ethered McDonald’s for screwing up a Black Friday tweet, but there was nothing subtle about it.
Of course, this ad came before we all knew that Subway was stuffing its food full of artificial flavorings and only half the meat was actually mostly plastic. It’s easy to avoid being a heavy meal when most of your bread is made of yoga mat materials.
Speaking of places that have publicly tried to save face — Chipotle should join forces with Subway.
Think about it. Two embattled franchises trying to take over the world together. You’d have the strongest PR team in the fast food game given everything these two brands have gone through.
How easy would it be to crossover Chipotle and Subway without even changing up the process of making the food? They’re both assembly line operations, so you could just call up which restaurant you wanted and go from there.
Feasibility: This makes absolutely too much sense to not happen. It’ll probably crash and burn but that’s the risk you take when you throw Chipotle and Subway together and shake things up.
Little Caesar’s and Long John Silver’s
Look at all the happy things happening to this guy in that ad.
- He finds a wallet
- The ladies want him
- Flying dogs use him as a helipad
- Free. Crazy. Bread.
It’s also nice to know that the prices at Little Caesar’s haven’t changed much over the years. Two pizzas for basically $10 is pretty much what they’re slinging nowadays, and that ad is from the early 90s.
Combining all the happy things from that ad with another nostalgic 90s joint — Long John Sliver’s — seems to be a match made in heaven. It follows the criteria that the two places can’t serve up similar cuisine and it plays hard for the remember when vibes that tend to makes millennial weak in the knees.
Feasibility: This needs to happen. No two places need each other more and don’t even know it that Little Caesar’s and Long John Silver. They’re the epitome of places you don’t remember until you pass one by, so what better sales pitch to potential fast food patrons than to double up and offer the best of both worlds?
This just absolutely needs to happen, as no bad things could possibly come from such a fantastic marriage of two brands.
McDonalds and Burger King
I mean, do we really need to sketch this one out for you? The Steph Curry commercial from the 90s should have been on-the-nose enough to get across the superteam angle in play here. This sort of violates the rule of not wanting to cross similar brands but it’s just too good to pass up. Forget Kevin Durant and the Warriors, there would be no bigger heel turn than seeing a Whopper show up next to a Big Mac on a fast food menu.
McDonald’s is a $25 billion (!!!) revenue machine, while Burger King has over 15,000 locations worldwide, which combined with McDonald’s locations means there would be over 8,000 stores per continent. That’s about as close to global domination as it gets, and it needs to happen.
Both McDonald’s and Burger King would have a chance to join forces and turn their individual franchises into the Golden State Warriors of fast food operations. There’s no way that they don’t at least double the revenue that McDonald’s already pulls in, which would make it one of the most successful business ventures in the world. Pride would have to be swallowed, but that’s a price you pay when joining forces to try and take over the world — one Big Mac and Whopper at a time.
Feasibility: It’s never ever going to happen, but what’s life if we don’t have dreams?