Tito’s Vodka Hand Sanitizer sucks, says Tito

I have some really bad news: Tito’s Handmade Vodka is, apparently, not made to be a hand sanitizer, according to Tito himself.

With the coronavirus wreaking untold havoc on our daily lives, it would have been really nice if Tito’s Handmade Vodka would have worked out as a hand sanitizer. Well, I have some bad news for you, my drinkers — it doesn’t. How do we know? Because the maker told us himself.

According to Bustle, the vodka maker issued a press statement warning its customers not to use the vodka as a homemade hand sanitizer.

“While it would be good for business (they ain’t lyin’) for our fans to use massive quantities of Tito’s for hand sanitizer, it would be a shame to waste good stuff, especially if it doesn’t sanitize,” the vodka maker said, to the grand disappointment of many.

So how did we arrive at a point where vodka makers are issuing press releases telling its consumers to refrain from making idiotic choices with their drinks? Well, it all stemmed from a Twitter post from Snooty Potty, who claimed that he created the world’s first-hand sanitizer made out of vodka:

I mean, who wouldn’t like this? A hand sanitizer that could not only protect you from the coronavirus but also one that goes down smooth as well? Sign me up for that, good buddy! However, the CDC quickly squashed that idea, saying that hand sanitizers need to contain at least 60% alcohol in order to be effective.

Tito’s Handmade Vodka only contains 40%. You do the math.

So with Snotty Potty’s vodka hand sanitizer confirmed to be a joke, what’s next? Where do we possibly go now that we’ve been disappointed by this devastating news? I think I may have an idea!

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Get actual hand sanitizer, and save Tito’s Handmade Vodka for the 14 days you may be quarantined. Trust me, you’ll thank me for this slice of advice.