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Bacon makes everything better and nowhere is that more true than with these five foods.
There are certain foods that will forever be in the pantheon of Guilty Eats. Burgers. Mac and cheese. Fries. But these gods among foods are but the foundation of a guilty eat. The best, truly indulgent delights build upon these giants with toppings and condiments and extras that turn them from good food into something exceptional and delectable. And nothing, no topping or condiment or extra, is a better multiplier of guilty eat excellence than bacon.
Bacon, wonderful on its own and in its own right, makes any and just about all food better. Yes, it can depend on the quality of the bacon — that oddly soggy bacon that comes in cubes can be such a disappointment — but when the bacon is good, the food is the best.
Now, this is a list of five foods that are better wrapped in bacon and what makes this different from any other list of bacon-forward dishes is that we’re really investigating both the “better” and the “wrapped” parts of the statement. Every food is better with bacon, but which are wrapped in bacon? E.g., you will not find bacon mac and cheese on this list because the mac and cheese is not wrapped in bacon. (But also sidebar: Bacon lattice mac and cheese pies do exist and they are pretty great.) And, yes, every food is better wrapped in bacon, but some foods are more better wrapped in bacon than others. (Sidebar again: That is an Animal Farm reference, not bad grammar, but perhaps in poor taste, considering bacon is made from pig.)
In any case, all of this is to say, we’re looking at five foods, in no particular order, that really reach another level when wrapped in bacon. Foods that are fine and well alone but top-notch with bacon.
1. Bacon-wrapped twists
Imagine a breadstick. The thin kind with a twist, not the Olive Garden kind. Now, imagine they were made with puff pastry instead — giving them a lighter, sweeter taste. And then, yes, let’s add some cheese because why not? Add the herbs and spices of your choosing. Now, wait. Is it done? Is it good? No, not really. Now, wrap it all up in bacon. Notice how the bacon twists up nicely around the puff pastry bread-ish twist, nigh perfectly.
We’ve all had puff pastry twists — or something like them. We’ve all munched on those breadstick-like things and all been mostly satisfied. But not one of you could argue that such a stick isn’t objectively better with bacon twisted and wrapped around it too.
Credit: The Aberdeen Barn / Facebook
2. Bacon-wrapped strawberries
Strawberries are super strong on their own — a top 5, if not top 3, fruit. But consider the bacon-wrapped strawberry. Kind of unexpected, no? But the salty, smoky taste of bacon pairs delightfully well with the tart sweetness of strawberries. (The true pro move is to then drizzle with whole deal with balsamic vinegar.) It’s the salty-sweet snack rule, it’s undefeated.
Yes, we will admit, bacon and fruit is a more controversial pairing than anything else on this list but sometimes you gotta swing big. And if you’re going to swing big, might as well do so with bacon, a real power hitter. (Or something, this baseball analogy was not especially well thought out.)
See also: Bacon-wrapped grilled apricot; bacon-wrapped pineapple.
3. Bacon-wrapped scallops
Scallops are good. Fine, really. If you like seafood, you probably enjoy scallops. They’re tender, bite-sized, a little sweet and typically grilled or pan-seared and served with a healthy portion of some combination of garlic and lemon. Good stuff.
But bacon-wrapped scallops: Those are excellent stuff. You’ll most likely encounter bacon-wrapped scallops as an appetizer at a nice dinner party, a fancy restaurant or as passed hors-d’oeuvres. In any case, you should absolutely partake — assuming, of course, you like seafood and do not have a shellfish allergy. Bacon-wrapped scallops are the best form of scallops. Scallops are undeniably better wrapped in bacon.
See also: Bacon-wrapped dates; bacon-wrapped water chestnuts.
Credit: Smith’s Hotdogs / Facebook
4. Bacon-wrapped cinnamon roll
Another illustrious, albeit less incendiary, entry in the sweet/salty power category, the bacon-wrapped cinnamon roll is a little more intricate than the other bacon-wrapped items on this list. Which is just to say, the wrapping happens inside the roll. It, in fact, follows the natural wrap of the cinnamon roll in what appears to be a fit so perfect it was designed with the addition of bacon in mind.
Bacon and cinnamon rolls also share a common breakfast/brunch-based heritage, so the flavor combination shouldn’t be too unexpected, lest that strawberry-bacon concept still has you shook.
5. Bacon-wrapped mini hot dogs
i.e. Bacon-wrapped cocktail weiners, i.e., bacon-wrapped Lil Smokies
Bacon-wrapped mini hot dogs, sometimes called cocktail weiners, or, as we recently learned, Lil Smokies, are an all-time classic appetizer, and one that is shockingly, upsettingly absent from most bar appetizer menus.
In any case, itty bitty cocktail weiners are often excellent on their own — usually as a result of a really great marinade or sauce. But there’s a ceiling to how good a Lil Smokie can be as a standalone, toothpick-skewered delight. Bacon, however, enthusiastically shatters that snack ceiling. Bacon wraps easily around a mini HD and doesn’t even get in the way of the aforementioned toothpick.
To really live your best life, find yourself some mini hot dogs wrapped in bacon inside a crescent roll and thrive.