Iced pumpkin spice lattes are *the* drink for global warming


Fall is going to be hotter than usual, but Starbucks won’t let that keep you from your seasonal PSL.

Here’s some meteorological news for you. (And keep in mind, this meteorological news, as with most meteorological news, is only an educated guess. That said: Long-term weather estimates tend to be more accurate than your local weatherperson, the one you think is always wrong who is actually usually right.)

Anyways, the meteorological news: According to The Weather Channel, fall 2017 will be warmer on average for much of the United States.

Here’s some culture news that will not be news to anyone: Folks love Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes.

Why will fall be warmer than usual? We don’t have to get into it now. (It’s global warming.) The real question you should be asking is, how do I reconcile this news with my compulsion/desire to post pumpkin spice lattes with a late September date stamp? What is a fall flavor enthusiast to do, to order, when PSL is on the literal and idiomatic menu, but the beating sun says, no, idiot, don’t order a hot beverage?* Worry not. Starbucks isn’t going to let a little atmospheric catastrophe get in the way of giving the people what they want.

(*We can discuss the merits/demerits of drinking hot beverages in the summer and iced refreshments during winter at another time.)

In fact, you don’t even have to wait until PSL graces the seasonal Starbucks menu to test the waters of this brave new and also scientifically-doomed world. Bottled iced Pumpkin Spice Lattes are in stores — ”grocery locations” — right now.

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And, presumably, one imagines, when the time comes, you will also be able to order a Pumpkin Spice Latte iced when the beloved beverage returns to Starbucks’ locations during the season that will nominally still be known as fall.