5 foods you will find at every parent tailgate on college football Saturday

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Hot dogs

If there was any justice in this world, there would be hot dogs at every single tailgate and pregame a college football fan could possibly stumble upon — perhaps even with a vegetarian hot dog option, which I learned last weekend was a thing. But as it is, the only guarantee I can give you is that every single parent tailgate you attend will have hot dogs.

And not just hot dogs, but hot dogs grilled on a grill by a Dad. (Again, not necessarily a literal Dad, but a man or woman with the Dad Spirit. Yes, it’s 2017, women can have the Dad Spirit, too.) There will be a plentiful topping bar. Later in the tailgate, probably before you leave for the stadium, you will find that someone responsible — likely a real and bonafide parent — has placed those perfectly grilled hot dogs in buns and under a cover that protects them from the elements but also allows for you to grab additional hot dogs without setting down your drink.

You will eat one of these HDs when you discover the slightly hidden stash. You will grab another for your walk to the stadium.

You will eat an inhuman amount of hot dogs at a parent tailgate.

Shrimp cocktail

Hot dogs make sense at a football tailgate. Shrimp cocktail, less so. Nevertheless, a platter of shrimp cocktail always seems to show up at a parent tailgate to remind everyone, especially ye young people, that shrimp cocktail is amazing and really should be a more prevalent appetizer.