Why Half-Priced Candy Day deserves to be a national holiday

With Valentine’s Day now over, all of the unsold candy will now be marked down  half-price or better. Here’s why we should push for a Half-Price Candy Day.

Now that Valentine’s Day is now over, the real holiday can begin, “Half-Priced Candy Day.”

I’ve always been under the assumption that stores marking down Valentine’s candy to half-price were to make a jab at those who didn’t have a boo to cuddle with on Valentine’s Day. It’s their way of making fun of us singles, saying, in a non-discrete way, that we’re so lonely that only M&M’s and heart-shaped chocolate will ever be our Valentine’s.

And, you know what? They have a point; but unlike most couples on Valentine’s Day, our happiness in shopping for half-priced Valentine’s Day candy is genuine.

We don’t fake our happiness when it comes to candy shopping. So, why can’t we have a special holiday where we can buy our half-priced Valentine’s Candy with no-shame?

This is why we need “Half-Priced Candy Day” to be a holiday, just like Valentine’s Day is.

Think about it, Valentine’s Day is originally based on Christians celebrating the two early saints named “Valentinus,” but it was corrupted by Hallmark and candy makers in order to make bank on the millions of couples who will shell out their life savings, just so they can prove to their significant other just how much they love them.

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Those same makers make bank off of us lonely saps to, knowing that we’ll hit up the nearest grocery store to buy out all of the Valentine’s Day candy, just like we do after Halloween.

If Valentine’s Day can become a legit, commercialized holiday, why can’t “Half-Priced Candy Day?”

Only a fraction of the planet’s population will actually celebrate Valentine’s Day, but many more participated in that post-Valentine’s rush on the candy aisle.

So, will you join me in pushing for a national “Half-Priced Candy Day?” It will be more authentic than the actual holiday that proceeds it.