Dear everyone: Please stop making Kit Kats taste weird
By Meg Dowell
The Kit Kat candy bar has been around for many years. Unique flavors are nothing new, but they’re nothing compared to the original.
For the record, I do not remember my first time eating a Kit Kat. I’m sure it was at a friend’s house or the result of a glucose-overloaded trick-or-treating extravaganza when I was too young to understand the concept.
But I’ve had enough Kit Kats since my first Kit Kat to know that the first time does not matter. In my experience, every Kit Kat tastes like waking up at 6 a.m. on a Saturday morning knowing you can close your eyes and go back to bed. That is, as long as it’s an original Kit Kat bar.
These days, every snack food has to have some kind of outrageous flavor or color to make it more “interesting.” And most of the time, I personally really don’t mind. Remember when Heinz made green ketchup for a second? That didn’t even freak me out.
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But I absolutely draw the line at Kit Kats that do not taste the way Kit Kats are supposed to taste. The most infuriating to me are Kit Kats that taste like cinnamon buns.
NOBODY ASKED FOR KIT KATS THAT TASTE LIKE HOW MY MOM’S HOUSE SMELLS ON CHRISTMAS.
And whoever did doesn’t deserve the life-altering experience that is eating an original Kit Kat anyway. Cinnamon. Peppermint. Nutmeg. I love all these spices, and all spices associated with the holiday season. I do not want them in my Kit Kats.
I’m the biggest, most basic pumpkin spice fanatic, and pumpkin spice Kit Kats make me want to throw away my boots and oversized sweatshirts ASAP.
Why do people like weird candy and other snack flavors? Because they’re different. Because everyone typically has a favorite flavor, and they get super excited when they find things of that flavor that usually don’t come that way. I prefer the nostalgia of breaking apart a Kit Kat and knowing exactly how the chocolate and wafer are going to taste and feel in my mouth before I eat them.
But, of course, you do you. Enjoy your cinnamon and green tea and Wasabi flavored Kit Kats (why?). It’s a hard pass for this foodie.
On the bright side, if everyone keeps buying the “fun” flavored Kit Kats, that just means more original Kit Kats left over for me. Right?
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What’s your favorite weird snack or candy flavor? What’s the grossest weird snack flavor you’ve ever made the mistake of trying?