Folks, Planters has murdered Mr. Peanut in new Super Bowl ad
By Kareem Gantt
In a Super Bowl ad guaranteed to cause most of us to be a little salty, Planters has decided to kill Mr. Peanut. All we can ask now is why?
Guys, Mr. Peanut is dead. He didn’t die on accident, he was murdered in cold blood by his owners, Planters.
In a time filled with darkness and uncertainty, why on Earth would Planters decide to kill off one of the few remaining beacons of light in this world? Even those who didn’t eat Planters peanuts had a soft spot for the iconic character. Now, he’s gone, and we all should be extra salty about this.
The untimely death of an American, no sorry, world icon, is part of Planters’ new ad for the Super Bowl. In it, Mr. Peanut’s friends, Matt Walsh and Wesley Snipes are driving in the NUTmobile (insert confused emoji here) when they come across an armadillo. Mr. Peanut, who’s driving, avoids hitting the armadillo, but sends the NUTmobile off a cliff.
Watch the ad for yourself, here:
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Snipes, Walsh and Mr. Peanut are then seen hanging from a tree branch (in the middle of the desert? I know, right?), but the three are too heavy. Snipes and/or Walsh could have done us a solid and let go, but Mr. Peanut, always the most selfless of beings, decides to save his friends and do the ultimate sacrifice.
At this point, I wanted to throw my phone into my laptop and scream in anger. Why would Snipes and Walsh just “allow” Mr. Peanut to sacrifice himself? This is the same human peanut that went to war for us, for Christ’s sake! He shouldn’t have had to die!
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Alas, Mr. Peanut did what he felt like he had to do. Planters didn’t have to murder the beloved character like this. His orange blood is now on their hands. Rest in paradise! Insert angry and crying emoji here.