Snickerdoodle Clusterbucks review: A healthy Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

I don’t like getting old. My neck hurts for a week if I sleep on it wrong, bills keep popping up that I have to pay for, and worst of all, I can’t scarf down box after box of sugar blasted cereal without my doctor telling me that I’m apparently “speed-running towards oblivion”. If I the only cereal I can have is Anti-Cholesterol Cubes (with their lovable mascot Lipid Larry), what’s the point?

Growing up, I would straight up devour bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch with a ferocity known only to starving wolves. Even a Costco-sized box wasn’t safe around me. Crave those crazy squares? Oh you betcha. Covet those delicious rectangles. Lust after those cinnamon sugar dusted bits of heaven.

Now, though? Even looking at a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch makes my stomach upset. I know that if I had just one bowl, let alone two, I would feel like absolute garbage for the rest of the week. Yeah, regular hangovers are bad, but you come to expect them. Cereal hangovers? What kind of cruel punishment is this?

Have you heard of Clusterbucks yet?

What’s a person to do when they get their cereal crave on?

Enter: Clusterbucks.

From the makers of Lil Bucks, a grain free snack centered around buckwheat, Clusterbucks are a granola-like clusters that “can be eaten like a snack or as a crunchy topping,” according to their website. While they’re not the texture of the cereal they’re aping, they claim to have the taste. And they’re good for you!

Lil Bucks were kind enough to send me a sample of their Snickerdoodle Clusterbucks to review.

So how do they stack up?

First things first, Clusterbucks feel like a health food. That’s not a derogatory description, though. Everything, from the packaging to the food itself, scream “this food is better for you!” Which makes sense, because that’s the whole goal of the product.

Unfortunately, the bag of Clusterbucks I received must have been roughed up in transit, because there were far fewer clusters than expected. Maybe 20% clusters, 80% crumble. Those clusters that were there, though, were plenty easy to pick up and pop, with a satisfying texture and crunch. Not cereal texture, obviously, instead closer to a Ferrero Rocher candy without the chocolate, if that makes any sense.

All of that is fine and dandy, but there’s one reason that you’re still reading this: you want to know about the taste. Does it taste like Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

Put simply: no. It tastes reminiscent of what you remember Cinnamon Toast Crunch tasting like, which is probably a good thing. Cinnamon Toast Crunch has this sickeningly-sweet cinnamon sugar taste and aftertaste that just feels bad in your mouth, while Snickerdoodle Clusterbucks lack that punch and aftertaste. They’re closer to cinnamon rice cakes than Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but that’s not the kind of thing that you can sell a product on.

No one is going to confuse Snickerdoodle Clusterbucks for Cinnamon Toast Crunch. The texture is completely different, and the flavor, while reminiscent, doesn’t have the same oomph to it as the cereal does. They’re still tasty, though!

If you’re looking for a healthier food option that can still satiate a little bit of your sweet tooth without leaving you feeling like garbage for the rest of the day, Snickerdoodle Clusterbucks are a good option. Just don’t think that you’ll be able to recreate your childhood memories with them.