Flavor Flav tries to save Red Lobster by ordering one of everything on the menu

Flavor Flav, formerly of Public Enemy and probably better known to modern audiences as the star of multiple reality shows, is putting his money where his giant clock is by using his hard-earned money to try and save the embattled (or is it embattered?) Red Lobster chain. Specifically by ordering every item on the menu.

Flav – can I call him Flav? – said as much on a post on X (formerly Twitter) on June 3, 2024, posting a picture of him standing in front of an enormous spread of seafood with the note, “Ya boy meant it when I said I was gonna do anything and everything to help @redlobster and save the cheddar bay biscuits,,, ordered the whole menu,!!!”

According to TMZ, Flav and company actually ate nearly everything they ordered, which is a wild amount of food. That said, having taken a glance at the actual Red Lobster menu, which has dozens of items on it, I’m going to throw some cold water here and say I don’t think he actually got one of everything; Flav probably said “one of everything” and then they brought out a bunch of stuff.

Additionally, let’s talk about how close he came to “saving” Red Lobster. The backstory here is that for a variety of reasons, the chain has been hemorrhaging money for a while. The biggest is that they were bought a few years back by a hedge fund that sold all the land Red Lobster restaurants were built on, then rented the land back to them. That’s a pretty dumb deal that only turns out well for the hedge fund and obliterated any chance a franchise can make any sort of profit.

Add in that COVID vastly changed the dining experience, Red Lobster is already a premium dining experience… And then there’s the funny reason, which is they added Endless Shrimp to the menu permanently, and promptly lost $11 million. That last one is definitely not the reason the chain closed nearly 100 locations and may close more. But it’s also not a drop in the bucket of seafood.

So, back to Flavor Flav… How’d he do? Is Red Lobster saved? The rapper/reality star reportedly holds double residency in Detroit and Las Vegas, and I’m not quite sure (despite reading a few reports about this) where he headed to Red Lobster. That said, looking up the prices at a New York Red Lobster – which is most likely more expensive, because all of our chains are exorbitantly priced here in the Empire State – if you ordered one of everything on the Red Lobster menu, that would bring you to a grand total of $2,845.73.

That sum is one of everything, including drinks (there are multiple smoothies, mocktails, etc, but I made this easy on myself), and does not include tax or tip. Even if Flavor Flav left a lovely tip, and I sure hope he did, this is a fun exercise in adding up things on a menu; but it’s not even close to saving Red Lobster. In fact, it’s not even enough to save whatever Red Lobster location Flavor Flav ate at.

That said? Given the celeb has brought more attention to the chain, reportedly Red Lobster is discussing promo options with him at the current time. So perhaps this viral stunt might lead to saving the Cheddar Bay Biscuits, per Flav’s main mission.

Either way, the clock is ticking. That’s a joke about the clock he wears! You got it.