McDonald’s Double Big Mac review: That’s too many burgers, man

I’ll get this out of the way up front: I am not the biggest fan of McDonald’s. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll try any new food item from the iconic establishment (see: this review of the Double Big Mac), but I’m not necessarily lovin’ it. I find the burgers dry and flavorless, the fries too greasy – I know, sacrilege – and generally if I have a choice to eat anywhere else, I will.

Yet I am also in the thrall of the fast food gods, and so it was only a matter of time, passing by multiple McDonald’s every day until I finally caved and tried the Double Big Mac.

In case you’re not familiar with the new, limited-time menu item, you can probably guess what it is all about, but here’s the gist. Anyone who grew up in the ‘70s and ‘80s has the recipe for your basic Big Mac ingrained in their head thanks to an insanely catchy commercial song that played on a loop: two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.

The Double Big Mac, per its name, sort of doubles that. In fact, the only thing it doubles is the burgers. You get four all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun. And while McDonald’s is pushing that you get even more of the signature special sauce on the Double Big Mac, to quote Dakota Johnson: actually, no, that’s not the truth, Ellen. There’s the same amount of special sauce on the Double Big Mac as the Big Mac.

That, inherently, is the problem with this sandwich. While I copped to not wanting to hamburgle sandwiches from McDonald’s on a regular basis, perhaps the one exception is the Big Mac, a legit good fast food burger that lives up to its reputation. The special sauce does a lot of the heavy lifting on the Big Mac, but at the same time, it has the perfect ratio of ingredients, including the two wafer-thin beef patties that are more for bite than anything else. Honestly, the pickles have more heft and flavor than a McDonald’s burger, and that’s fine. Big Macs are delicious.

The Double Big Mac… Is not. It takes a perfect sandwich and adds even more of the worst ingredient, the burger. In theory, it makes sense to add more burgers since McDonald’s patties are so insubstantial. In practice, it’s like choking down styrofoam and saying, “You know what this needs? More styrofoam.”

Mind you, it’s also a big bite. Normally with even the Big Mac, a McDonald’s sandwich is pretty quick and easy to get down. Get it over with quickly, right? That’s how everyone is approaching McDonald’s? Cool. Cool cool cool. Anyway, with the Double Big Mac, you definitely have to unhinge your jaw like a snake in order to bite into this.

But the biggest issue is the burgers which, with no traction between each other, slip and slide everywhere. From the very first bite this was a mess, and – no shade to the hard-working McDonald’s employees – was already mis-stacked when I opened the box. By the time I was done with the sandwich part, there were bits of bun, burger, and of course lettuce and sauce everywhere. I felt like an embarrassing baby eating this sandwich, more so than usual.

If I were to offer some notes here, what this needs is – at the very least – more cheese. Potentially, a slice of cheese between each burger, to really bind the whole thing together and make it into the decadent delight I’m sure McD’s wants it to be. They could also add an extra dollop of special sauce somewhere as promised, I guess, but the fact of the matter is that it’s already going to goosh all over the fingers; so in my mind, cheese is the better option.

Long story short, while a McDonald’s burger has the same rough dimensions as a smash burger, a gooey, crispy stack of smash burgers this is not. Skip the Double Big Mac, and get two Big Macs, instead. You’ll be much happier for it.