5 foods you will find at every parent tailgate on college football Saturday
Credit: Henri’s Exquisite Catering / Facebook
Pinwheel wraps
Look, I don’t make the rules. I just can tell you without a sliver of a doubt in my mind that every single parent tailgate happening on a Saturday at a college with a football team features anywhere from one to three platters of pinwheel wraps. Generally, said wraps involve a combination of sandwich fixings, only ever seen in pinwheel wraps, that are not actually that good. Usually, you’re looking at a ratio of three ingredients that sound amazing together to one that kind of ruins it. Usually, the one that ruins it is cucumber.
A proprietary Mom dip
There will be a truly exceptional dip at any parent tailgate you attend and you will realize you can no longer remember a time when it wasn’t a part of you. You will discover you have been eating this exceptional dip for a solid 45 minutes, but also, in some ways, your whole life. You will inquire about who made it and once the chef in question has been identified, you will ask, nay, beg for the secret. The Creator will promise to email you the recipe because he or she is kind and good. But then, when you follow up after the game with whoever brought you to the parent tailgate, no one knows who they were. They all remember the dip — who could forget — but not the Creator.
Spooky.
Pudding shots
Parents love pudding shots. And for good reason, pudding shots are amazing. Pudding shots are the classier, better version of Jello shots, which are usually gross and bad. Jello shots are made with cheap vodka and Jello mix. Pudding shots, rather, use liquor that adds a je-ne-sais-quoi — like a combination of Bailey’s and Irish whiskey — and brownie mix. They tend to involve Cool Whip. (I basically just gave you my mom’s recipe for pudding shots, you’re welcome.)
Pudding shots will be at the parent tailgate you attend because they are the platonic ideal of a parent tailgate food: homemade, high-quality, easily overconsumed. (Also, boozy.)
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And that is the essential spirit of the parent tailgate. The parent tailgate is a place of good, high-quality food and drink, generously provided by people who are better at taking care of you than you are.
And take care of you they will, any given Football Saturday until one day, you wake up, make your way to your college campus of choice and realize you have hot dogs and pudding shots in the back of your car.