Guilty Eats
Fansided

This canned bread is trying my life right now

By Kareem Gantt

LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 16: A photo illustration of a loaf of white pre-sliced bread on February 16, 2018 in London, England. A recent study by a team at the Sorbonne in Paris has suggested that 'Ultra Processed' foods including things like mass-produced bread, ready meals, instant noodles, fizzy drinks, sweets and crisps are tied to the rise in cancer. (Photo illustration by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images)
LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 16: A photo illustration of a loaf of white pre-sliced bread on February 16, 2018 in London, England. A recent study by a team at the Sorbonne in Paris has suggested that 'Ultra Processed' foods including things like mass-produced bread, ready meals, instant noodles, fizzy drinks, sweets and crisps are tied to the rise in cancer. (Photo illustration by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images) /
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Some people swear by brown canned bread, but I just can’t wrap my head around this unorthodox product.

There is something about canned bread that just irks me to no end.

Some folks may call me “old-fashioned,” but I am the type of person that likes my bread from within the package, not the can, thank you very much. I was living a perfectly sane life until today when my editor dropped a Takeout story about how we should eat and embrace brown canned bread, even calling us who don’t embrace it “cowards.”

Well, I am a proud coward.

For the record, I have tried B&M’s Brown Canned Bread, and promptly spat it out the moment it grazed my taste buds. It was disgusting, something I have never had on my tongue before, but that was the first and last time canned bread graced my tongue.

Canned bread isn’t some new invention, it’s been around for a while, since the days George Washington was roaming the Atlantic Ocean looking to kick out the British. Some families make it a tradition to eat canned bread around the holidays, but not my family.

I would do canned cranberry sauce, but canned bread? No, nope, negatory.

The kind of bread served in my family around the holidays involves cornbread, made from scratch. The first (and only) time we turned to canned bread was in 2014, and to say it hit the trash was an understatement.

We played trash basketball with it.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is canned bread is not something that I would even come near, nor would I ever eat again. I guess it was the thought of looking at a canned-shaped bread that just makes my skin crawl. For those that like it, eat what you love, my foodies.

Just don’t try to convince me to eat it.

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What do you think of canned bread? Have you tried it before? Do you agree that it is not for you? Tell us what you think in the comments.

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