Ranking all of the 29 Snapple drinks currently on their site

We’ve decided to rate the plethora of Snapple drinks from best to worst, but keep in mind that worst isn’t exactly bad. In fact, it’s the opposite. Consider the last entry (Number 29) as the worst of the best, which in the end isn’t all that bad.

The list is based on all 29 flavors found on the Snapple website (why choose only a few of the flavors?), and although I must excuse myself and go to the restroom whilst you read, the discomfort in trying all of these flavors was well worth it. Pardon me…

Ranking the Snapple drinks from worst of the best, to best of the best

Have you ever been binging on episodes of Friends, and all of a sudden, Ross goes over to Monica’s fridge and grabs himself a Snapple? (It sure happened often enough; especially in those early seasons.)

Or maybe you’re a Seinfeld type of person, also a show in which the main characters drank from Snapple bottles as they discussed the many problems surrounding their lives on TV.

And by the way…Snapple wasn’t the only thing you got a massive craving for when watching a classic episode of Seinfeld…

Are you like us? Do you suddenly get filled with a craving so insane you’ve just gotta have a Snapple?

Well, if you get that way simply watching one of the loveable characters on Friends and Seinfeld drinking a Snapple, wait until you make your way through this list. So without further ado, dear readers…

29. Go Bananas

Banana drinks aren’t always the best. In this case, the drink is tasty and would be chosen over other banana-flavored drinks from other brands, but it still reminds me too much of a banana-flavored antibiotic I took as a child.

28. Watermelon Lemonade

Is it just me, or do fruit juice companies kind of drop the ball when it comes to trying to make watermelon drinks that actually taste like the flesh of the watermelon? This one tastes a little too much like the rind for me.

27. Diet Raspberry Tea

This will be a common theme with all of the diet drinks in this piece (or most of them, anyways). The diet drinks are hard to take at times because of the overwhelming taste of artificial sweetener. Such is the case here.

26. Green Tea

I love Green Tea, but something about it in this form bothers me a tad. When I drink it warm it doesn’t seem to have that aftertaste.

25. Takes 2 To Mango

Mango is great and this one definitely hits the spot, but it doesn’t at all represent itself as their best Mango product.

24. Diet Takes 2 To Mango

See Number 27.

23. Half N’ Half Lemonade Iced Tea

This one’s just alright; essentially I can take it or leave it.

22. Diet Half N’ Half Lemonade Iced Tea

See Number 27.

21. Orangeade

Not at all the best Orange flavored drink on the market. (But it tries.)

20. Diet Cranberry Raspberry

See Number 27.

19. Raspberry Tea

Now we’re getting there. Not the best of the iced tea flavor pairings but pretty tasty overall.

18. Grapeade

Better than most grape drinks out there. We just have to say thanks for not making a diet grape. Imagine the horror? How much more like child cold medicine can you get?!

17. Raspberry Peach

Decent, but Raspberry and Peach don’t pair all that well together…too much of a contrast, but again, I wouldn’t throw any of these out without finishing the whole bottle.

16. Mango Madness

Now we’re getting there with the mango flavor; definitely a step in the right direction.

15. 100% Orange Mango (In a can)

The pinnacle, in my opinion, of the Snapple Mango flavor.

14. Diet Trop-A-Rocka Tea

Okay, okay…. A diet item that scored decently high? Well, when it comes to iced tea and lemon-based drinks, the artificial flavorings seem to be diminished slightly, which makes the drink all that more pleasurable to drink.

13. Snapple Apple

A definitive classic. Apple was Snapple’s first flavor according to Mashed.

12. Fruit Punch

Who doesn’t love a nice cold bottle of fruit punch?

11. Peach Tea

A North American classic for sure; a staple at BBQs. (An editor pick all day, every day.)

10. Lemon Tea

Nothing goes better with iced tea than lemon.

9. Diet Peach Tea

See Number 14.

8. Diet Lemon Tea

See Number 14.

7. Strawberry Pineapple Lemonade

Pineapple and strawberry go to together like  “…Ramma lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong / Remembered forever like
Shoo-wop sha whada whadda yippidy boom da boom / Chang chang, changity chang shoo bop / That’s the way it should be / Wah-ooo, yeah…!”

Any Grease fans out there? Anyways….

6. 100% Juiced Grape (Can)

The absolute best grape-based product by Snapple. Very sharp but it reminds me of freshly squeezed grapes for making wine.

5. 100% Juiced Green Apple (Can)

Green apple flavor isn’t for everyone, but obviously, it scores pretty high on our list.

4. 100% Juiced Fruit Punch (Can)

Their bottled fruit punch is great, but in the can it is undoubtedly epic.

3. Pink Lemonade

A classic and a definite goodie. The simple pink lemonade taste isn’t too overwhelming and is just sweet enough.

2. Black Cherry Lemonade

Black cherry is dangerous. It’s dangerous because it has a taste that keeps you coming back for more and more and…

1. Kiwi Strawberry

I can remember when I was 11, my dad used to organize church feasts; he is a classically trained Italian chef (and taught me most of what I know about the cuisine). He used to order all of the food: pizza, sausages, paninis, pastries and of course, the drinks. He always ordered this flavor and only this flavor of Snapple for no apparent reason.

I can remember, my first culinary experience was standing beside my dad, him grilling the sausages for sausage and pepper paninis, drinking  beer, and me, grilling alongside him, 11 years old, chugging on a Snapple—Strawberry Kiwi. No flavor will ever taste as good, dear readers. Trust me.

I wonder if in 1972, when Arnold Greenberg, Leonard Marsh and Hyman Golden invented the first-ever flavor of apple Snapple, they had this giant list of products offered in mind.

But that’s the way of the world, isn’t it, or at least it has been over the past five decades or so: If you have a good honest product that the world takes in with open arms and an open heart, the sky is the limit for sure.